Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
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