Moan for me like Helen Keller
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
