My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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