I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize