don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I think i got beer on your cat.
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