my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
