You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i came on her dog
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
