So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
