It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize