Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize