I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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