love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
