Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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