I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize