I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
