So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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