Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize