Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
