It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
