Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
