If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
