It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
