Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
