apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
