I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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