Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize