either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
