Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Randomize
