fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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