suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
