When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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