There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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