I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
i think my cat just said my name.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
