It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
