I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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