if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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