we have officially lost it.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Its about making memories worth repressing
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
