why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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