so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
It's shark week go big or go home
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
