My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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