"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
