I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I just gargled with NyQuil
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
