Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
