...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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