some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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