marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
