I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
