If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
