Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
