she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
