1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
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