Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Randomize
