dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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