my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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