I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
