Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
