You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Randomize
