matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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