so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
