lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
