I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize