broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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