You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
