I want to stick my p in your. b.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
