theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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