Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
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