I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
