I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I want to fling myself into the sun
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
