You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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