Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
