thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize