I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize