Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
