Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
They are going to name an STD after you.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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