Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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