I heard we made out
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
