Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
