and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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